If you are looking for happiness…

…you are at the right place.

Here you will find 52 powerful and inspirational quotes with comprehensive explanations on how to apply these quotes in everyday life.

After reading this book, you will learn how to follow the feeling of pleasure in your consciousness. It will be your guiding star as you navigate your daily pursuits.

The right way to use this book

Think about what bothers you right now in your life and press the button below to get the answer to your problem.

All 52 quotes are guiding you in one direction…satisfaction in your consciousness. Many people call this “Happiness.”

Get the answer!

Subscribe for our newsletter
Join us on Facebook   Join us on Twitter

Quote 05

Love the person you see, not who you would like to…

Zett Why

 

How we understand love

We understand love in a twofold manner. The first way is limitless and unconditional love of all, as set out in the scriptures. The second way is personal love, when one person loves another. I will not mention love of all in this part of the book. Here, I’m going to talk about the aspects of personal love. It can be recognized according to several of its main features. At first, you may observe that personal love is diluted with a sufficient dose of egoism. If he loves her, she must love him, and vice versa. Lacking this response in personal love is the straightest path towards suffering. Each lover tries untiringly to adjust the object of his love to himself. That’s another quality and evil. The main reason for all the conflicts between couples is the Lover Illusion.

 

Lover illusion

– Attention! Part of this quote is missing. –

52 Quotes to live by

– Attention! Part of this quote is missing. –

 

Love to the parts

There are only separate romanticized parts of a lover in your head, not an entire person. It’s just a phantom who is almost not related to the original. After creating this phantom, you quickly notice that your lover may not be fulfilling all your expectations. Because you “know” how they should behave in one or another situation. This is the start of conflicts in your relationship. Even worse – you begin to try to adjust the real person to match the phantom by all means. By the way, this is another feature of personal love – extortion. Extortion of someone who you think you love. The worst of it is that you do it from the heart, by lying to yourself and harming this close person. If the real person loves you enough, they can think that something is truly wrong, and start trying to change in line with your picture of them. But then the real person risks losing what they had in the beginning, plus the phantom perception of them in your head.

 

Egoism in love

As I mentioned earlier, egoism acts strongly in personal love. When following egoism you always want something, waiting or expecting it from your lover. For instance, you want him close, so that you can be with him, or you demand a response to your love, or you ask him to dress in a way you like, or that he does something in a “better” way – and this has no end. It doesn’t matter how many demands there are – the point doesn’t change. For you, what you want back for your love is the only thing that is important. If you see your egoism unsatisfied, displeasure arises. The next step here leads to complaints and corrections of the original until conflict situations occur.

Egoism basically works on a simple principle: I do something for you – you do something for me. But actually, egoism works a little bit differently. You do something for me, and then I will think about it, because the most important thing is what it means to me. The worst of it is that egoism uses love as a means of blackmail. Very often you will see a situation where one partner tries to correct the other partner in order to match the phantom by blackmailing them with feelings. These observations apply to both partners. You will know the size and differences of your phantom through the number of conflicts evoked by you yourself.

 

Destroy the phantom

A piece of advice for you – try to know your lover as you did from the start. Remember conflict situations, and look at them from your lover’s side. Let go of any egoistic claims to your partner. You will be surprised at how many conflicts would not have happened at all, and you will see that the original and the phantom you created are two different people.

Try to forget your ‘I’ in a relationship, and pay more attention to your partner. Remember that our bodies consist of many cells. A healthy cell gives 70% of its energy to the organism, and keeps just 30% for itself. When a cell takes 70% of the energy, we call it a cancer cell. Now, try to apply this formula to your relationship…

Next Quote
05
Available on:
As seen on: